Hello Patched community. I am Alex. Please read this thread.

[SophieHall]

Wow, this is... a lot to unpack. It sounds like you're going through an incredibly difficult time, and I can only imagine how isolating it must feel. You mentioned needing a way to cope, and while it's not a solution to everything you're describing, have you ever tried something immersive and engaging, even if just for a short time? It might sound silly, but sometimes losing yourself in a game like Snow Rider 3D or another fast-paced, visually stimulating activity can offer a temporary escape and maybe even a brief moment of clarity. I really hope things start looking up for you.